Seasons Don't Fear The Reaper
by SydneyVictoria
Summary: RogerApril. It's my first angst. Review to let me know how I did. What if Roger knew April wanted to kill herself? What if he could stop it? What if he was offered to join?
1. Seaons Don't

**Disclaimer: Not mine at all.**

**Notes: Inspiration? "(Don't fear) The Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult. Involves April and Roger. Angst, but told in a different way. What if Roger knew April was suicidal. What if he could have stopped it? What if he was asked to _join_? **

"Our lives are like seconds... here but now they're gone." April whispered to Roger, holding her arms across her body and whimpering slightly. She sat perched on the edge of their bathtub, shaking to her bones.

Roger looked up. "Stop." He muttered simply, staring down at the pregnancy test in his hands. That one word made his stomach drop. _P__ositive_.

"I don't know how the hell this happened," He whispered and then flung the pregnancy stick to the right of him, taking his face fully in his hands. "It's going to have it."

"_He's_ going to have it," She whispered, not looking at him. April only concentrated on her breathing. "_He_ is."

Roger let out a low groan. "April," He started shakily, "You don't know what _it_ is. _It'_s not anything. _It'_s never going to be anything. All because of a fucking needle."

"He won't have it." She protested, stroking her stomach. "It's a boy. I can feel it. He won't have it."

Roger decided not to fight; he decided not to take his anger out on her. "He is going to have it, April and you know it." He said softly, "He's going to be positive."

She looked up, her eyes brimming with tears. She repeated, "Here but now they're gone."

"April," He breathed, "Please don't."

"Do you fear death?" She asked, letting her fading red bangs fall into her eyes. "Do you?"

"April," He started again, feeling himself starting to shake as well. "No. I don't. Please don't talk about this with me right now."

"Seasons don't fear the Reaper... nor do the wind, the sun, or the rain," She sang softly, still not able to meet his eyes. "We can be like they are."

"Dammit April," He growled, standing up and turning to the mirror. In the low lightening, he looked pale. Almost as if the light was a black light, it accentuated every bone in his face to show them probing against the tight skin. He looked terrible. "I can't take this shit from you right now."

"Roger?"

"April, I gotta go out." Roger said, pulling open the door and looking over his shoulder at her. "April?"

"Yes?" She asked, staring at the broken tiles on the floor.

"I-... I do. I do fear death. I fear the Reaper. I can't talk about that. I promise, I swear I'll make this life better for _him_," Roger vowed and looked at her tummy. "I'll get some money or somethin' and I'll move you both to a rural area and nobody will bother you. Nobody will hurt you. Not even... not even the Reaper." He looked at the floor. "I'll be back." He whispered and bowed his head, leaving. He shut the door behind him.

April watched him leave. "I don't fear the Reaper. I _am_ the Seasons, the wind, the sun, and the rain."

Looking down at her stomach, she whispered, "Don't worry, Adam. We'll be friends with _him_ soon. Daddy will too, soon... whether he wants it or not."

Her eyes fell on the razor that Roger had used just hours ago to shave. Just hours ago, they were happy. They had AIDS, but they were together. Now she was pregnant and Roger was angry.

April kissed her finger tips and then place her hand on her stomach. With her free hand, she reached for the razor. "Soon, Adam. Don't fear the Reaper. Daddy loves you. Soon we'll be able to fly."

**Notes: Okay, so my first RENT angst. What do you guys think? Be honest, and as always, review? I adore reviews and they make my day. Thanks you guys. Your opinion matters! Oh, and if it wasn't obivious, Adam is what April wanted to name her son. REVIEW!**


	2. Fear The Reaper

**Disclaimer: Not mine, my dear friends. Not mine at all.**

**Notes: I'm updating this for many reasons. 1) High School is starting, and since there's those little jitters, I decided to write a bit. 2) Since most of my summer has been wasted hanging/partying with people, I'm ashamed that I haven't been using this as my writing outlet. 3) I'm in the mood for some angst! How about you? Ha. If you want to know what's been up with me, the link to my often-updated-Livejournal is on my homepage. There you can read all about me and my bitching... and stuff. Ha. Here we go. Oh, and this is mainly fluff. Get over it.**

* * *

Roger took a long walk. Yes, he needed something to clear his mind. God, he could still hear April's words ringing in his ears. He could barely stand it.

Her soft, sweet voice filling his mind with cryptic phrases. Those only mingled in with his own wretched thoughts. This was a deadly combination.

Feeling the little bit of food in his stomach begin to churn and flip, he made an abrupt swerve to a darken alley and spilled the minuscule contents onto the ground.

Nearly ripping off his coat, he used it to wipe his mouth instead of his own hand. Feeling the cool wind dance along his bare arms, Roger shivered. God, it was setting in.

_No_, His mind screamed, _It isn't the illness setting in. It's her words_.

Pulling himself together, Roger flung his coat over his shoulder and started his way home. In the back of his mind, he knew he didn't really want to be home. No, not with April. Not with her... her baby. God, him as a father? He couldn't take of himself or April, none the less a baby! There was nothing worse than being a disappointing father. He saw enough of that from his own dad.

Roger kept his eyes low from the passing masses. He could almost feel a neon sign above his head, blinking with the words: "HORRIBLE AIDS-RIDEN FATHER" in bold. Therefore, his eyes watched each footstep he took.

_Our lives are like seconds... here, but now they're gone._ April's spirit whispered in Roger's ear. Unbeknown to him, April was right on his heels. She had a pit stop to make before she made her way to heaven, if that was where she was chosen to stay.

"Shut up, April," Roger growled to himself, pretty sure he had gotten a few weird looks from people. However, he wouldn't look at them. It was only April in his mind, her voice ringing.

_Like footsteps too, Roger. Your footsteps. You can't take them back. Have you ever thought of that? Like walking in snow... once you have made that footstep, it's there forever -even if you try and cover it._ She whispered next, floating only slightly at his ankles now. Slowly, she was being rose upwards. April slipped her arms around his waist, wanting vainly to stay on Earth with him. Yes, even after her deal made just moments ago with a razor blade.

Roger hissed at the warmness around his waist. God, he was losing it now. His beautiful girlfriend was at home, probably sleeping. _That's right, sleeping happily_. He thought.

_You don't even know how deep of a sleep,_ April bit at his ear, but he couldn't really feel it. No, not with the coldness nipping at the same time.

Her feet were now leveled at the backs of his knees. _Roger, I love you, but I have to go. Are you going to be alright?_

_What the hell do you think, April?_ He growled to his inner vision of his adorable girlfriend. _You're not going anywhere._

_Please don't fear the reaper, Roger. He only does what's best. If you're smart, you'll cheat and choose your own time... be with me._ April then floated away and faded like an old favorite shirt that had been washed too many times. She was gone; back at the loft, the sufficient amount of blood was spilled into the bathroom, and Mark had just walked in needing to take a piss.

Surprise, surprise.

Roger could feel coldness hug his hips now, and he sighed. He could go home and tell her he was sorry, then the coldness would subside. Yes, only then would go away.

Little did he know as he strode back to his not-so-humble abode, that the coldness he felt would become permanent.

* * *

**A/N: End. How was it? Short, but powerful... right? Ah, a writer can only hope. Feedback is LOVE.**


End file.
